The Road to Wrestlemania…III

Greetings once again, my Common DenomiNation! Thanks to everyone who commented on, or at least read my two-week foray into the world of what might have been if WCW hadn’t been bought by the WWE. I enjoyed writing it, but at the same time it made me kind of mad thinking about what really did happen. I could write a dozen more columns on the subject and might revisit it some time after Wrestlemania, but it is Wrestlemania season, so I’ll switch to the more timely subject for this week.

I was 12 years old when the inaugural Wrestlemania was held. And I’m going to be honest and say that I was only vaguely aware of the WWF at the time. I knew who Hulk Hogan was and had seen a few episodes of WWF programming, but in 1985 I was still fully invested in Memphis wrestling, with NWA Championship Wrestling on WTBS as my second favorite promotion. Now by Wrestlemania 2, I was much more aware of the WWF product. In fact, I was actually expecting King Kong Bundy to beat Hogan for the belt. I was aware that wrestling was “fake” by that time, but at 13 I was still able to completely suspend my disbelief and become totally immersed in the product. By Wrestlemania III, I was completely over Hogan’s shtick. Being 14, I guess I was “too cool” for Hulk’s goody-goody act or whatever, so I was outright rooting for Andre the Giant to win the WWF title. I guess I made a heel turn of my own, since most of my WWF favorites were heels or recently “reformed” heels: Andre, Savage, Jake Roberts, Beefcake, the Hart Foundation. ‘Maina III was the event that made a true believer in the WWF product. Okay, let me take a step back. The period between Wrestlemania 2 and III was what did it. I’m trying really hard to think of any other extended period where they completely nailed the booking from the main event scene to the bottom of the card, and I can’t.

Seriously, you can go all the way back to mid-86 to see the seeds of this card being planted. Bobby Heenan getting Andre suspended only to bring him back under Heenan’s guidance with the enticement of a WWF title match. Jake Roberts, vehemently hated heel getting the face turn after being attacked by the somehow even more hated Honkytonk Man. Man, even more than an Andre wiu, I wanted Jake to someday somehow become WWF Champion. I remember fantasy booking (was that even a thing then?) the Wrestlemania IV WWF Championship tournament with Jake beating Bam Bam Bigelow in the finals. Anyway, the whole Danny “Evil Referee” Davis angle drew great heat. Roddy Piper’s exit and return to reclaim his “spot” from “Adorable” Adrian Adonis. You know, Piper never really did anything to draw cheers. People just freaked for the guy when he came back from making movies. And of course, the whole epic saga with Ricky Steamboat, Randy Savage, Elizabeth, George “The Animal” Steele, and Miss Elizabeth that played out for months was done to perfection.

Anywho, at Wrestlemania III, I marked out for Roddy Piper’s win over “Adorable” Adrian Adonis, as well as the face turn for Brutus Beefcake. I completely lost my shit when Steamboat won the Intercontinental title. I liked Savage, but man he had it coming. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan making his big debut in the Sheik/Volkoff vs. Killer Bees match was pretty cool too, seeing Hacksaw show up in the WWF. Sadly, he was never really treated as a serious threat, becoming more of a comedy wrestler. I’ve since wondered if the whole getting caught in a car with drugs and the Iron Sheik thing played a role in that (and from the WWF’s perspective which was worse at the time, getting caught with the drugs or traveling with his “enemy”). I even gave Hogan his props for slamming Andre. Seriously, it seemed like almost every match on the card was important. Let me just do a quick rundown of the whole card.

Can-Am Connection (Rick Martel & Tom Zenk) vs. Bob Orton & Don Muraco – A great quick little tag-team opener. It established the Connection as legitimate contenders for the tag belts in the wake of the British Bulldogs effective end as a team. It also led to a face turn for Muraco, which would have been almost unthinkable just months earlier.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules – Think Ryback vs. Mark Henry, only Ryback can wrestle and Henry is Hispanic. I always liked Haynes, but I seem to recall him having a dark side involving drugs or something. Anyway, a great power match marred only by a weak double-countout finish. Someone could have gone over and been established as a contender for the WWF or I-C title.

Hillbilly Jim, The Haiti Kid and Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo and Lord Littlebrook – Okay, so this match sucks, but there was a decent storyline behind it that escapes me at the moment, so maybe it wasn’t all that great. I don’t know who got screwed more, Orndorff for not even being on the card, or Bundy, who went from Main Event vs. Hogan last year to this trainwreck.

“King” Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog – Sue me, I like Harley Race. But as much as I didn’t like the “King” gimmick, I guess it was as close as they were willing to get to acknowledging his status as a legendary former NWA Champion. And JYD was, at one time, maybe second to Hogan on the good-guy pecking order. Race goes over in a short inoffensive match that set Race up as a challenger for Hogan.

The Dream Team (Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake) w/Johnny Valiant and Dino Bravo) vs. Jacques & Raymond Rougeau – Remember when the Rougeaus were faces? Me either. Honestly, this match was all about Beefcake getting dumped by the heel faction. Of course it gets paid off almost immediately later in the show. But the whole angle for this match had a nice build that sort of ran along the Piper/Adonis feud, showing a sort of roster-spanning integration that you really don’t see anymore.

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs. “Adorable” Adrian Adonis – Of course, this is supposed to be Piper’s retirement match, but we all know how that ended up. Sadly, as effective as Adonis’ gimmick was at the time, that shit would not fly in today’s PC world. Just ask Lenny Lane and Lodi. It’s a hair match, by the way, and after Piper puts Adonis to sleep, out comes Beefcake to do the honors, making him a big babyface singles star for the next few years. I still can’t believe he never got to win the Intercontinental title.